Lovely Lavender

When your best friend is going through a crisis, it can be hard to know how to help. You want to be there for them, but you might worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. During tough times, what your friend needs most is your love, understanding, and presence. Whether they are facing a health issue, a loss, or any other life-altering event, here are some thoughtful ways to support your best friend in their time of need.

1. Just Be Present

One of the most important things you can do is simply be there. You don’t need to have all the answers or say the perfect words. Sometimes, sitting quietly with your friend or holding their hand speaks louder than any words can. When someone is in crisis, they can feel isolated and alone. Your presence—whether in person, over the phone, or via text—can be incredibly comforting.

If you’re not physically close, frequent check-ins, even just to let them know you’re thinking about them, can be powerful. Your consistency in showing up for them, no matter how small, helps them feel less alone.

2. Listen Without Judgment

When your friend needs to talk, make sure you’re listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak. Let them share their thoughts, feelings, and frustrations without interrupting or trying to offer advice right away. Often, the act of listening—really listening—can be more helpful than any words of wisdom you might offer.

Avoid making the conversation about yourself, and resist the urge to fix everything. Everyone handles stress and pain differently, and it’s okay if you don’t fully understand what they’re going through. What matters most is that you create a safe space for them to express their emotions.

3. Offer Practical Help

When someone is going through a crisis, even basic tasks can feel overwhelming. Offer practical assistance, whether it’s cooking a meal, running errands, or helping with childcare. Sometimes, people are too overwhelmed to ask for help, so take the initiative.

You could say something like, “I’m free this afternoon—can I drop off dinner or help clean up the house?” Offering specific assistance can feel less overwhelming for your friend to accept than a vague, “Let me know if you need anything.”

4. Be Patient and Understanding

Your friend may not be themselves during a crisis, and that’s okay. They might withdraw, become irritable, or struggle to communicate as they process what’s happening. Understand that their behavior might not reflect how they truly feel about you; it’s often just a symptom of their distress.

Be patient with their mood swings, and don’t take it personally if they need space. Check in with them regularly, but give them room to respond on their own terms. Respecting their emotional boundaries while staying available for support will show them you’re in it for the long haul.

5. Encourage Professional Support

While your support is invaluable, your friend might need more than what you can offer. Encouraging them to seek professional help, whether from a therapist, counselor, or doctor, can be a lifesaver. If they’re hesitant, you could offer to help them research resources or accompany them to an appointment for extra support.

Normalize seeking help by gently reminding them that there’s no shame in reaching out for professional guidance. Sometimes just knowing you support that decision can make it easier for them to take the next step.

6. Respect Their Healing Process

Healing is not linear, and every person’s journey is unique. Don’t pressure your friend to “snap out of it” or “move on” before they’re ready. Instead, encourage them to take things one day at a time and reassure them that it’s okay to feel however they’re feeling. Crises can change a person, and your friend might not return to who they were before, and that’s okay, too.

Let them grieve, heal, and process at their own pace. Your steady, unwavering support through their ups and downs will make a difference.

Supporting your best friend through a crisis is challenging, but your love and compassion can be a lifeline in their time of need. Remember that it’s not about fixing everything; it’s about being a comforting presence as they navigate their pain. Whether through practical help, patient listening, or a simple text that says, “I’m here for you,” your support can provide them with strength and hope when they need it most.